don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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