If i come over, it means nothing
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Randomize
