Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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