Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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