I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
