I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
worst night to have a conscience
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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