i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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