One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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