no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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