just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
