And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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