why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
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I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
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I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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