I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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