you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
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its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
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should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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