Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
bring money and cleavage
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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