I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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