So drunk its hurt
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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