So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize
