Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
