Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
