lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
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I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
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He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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