Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
