thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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