no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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