Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
