Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
