Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
