What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
