i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize