I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
