The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Acid is not a monday night drug
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
