while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
