Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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