I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
