So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
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Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
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I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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