Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
