So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
