Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
