omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
