Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
