You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Randomize
