I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
