You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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