On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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