So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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