We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
