He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
