if i can run in heels then i can drive
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
she smelled like a LAN party
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
