Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
