For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
