I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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