He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
