Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
