Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
