i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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