Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
