Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
