soooo we both peed the bed last night...
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
