You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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