She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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