You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
