All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
